Life Update–Term 1 and Uganda

So it’s been a solid three months since I’ve written a blog – whooops. Things were pretty crazy at the start of the year and really didn’t wind down until about a week ago. After Camp GLOW, I fled Rwanda for the first time in over a year to go spend 3 weeks in South Africa. To say the least, it was AMAZING. We went on a safari in Kruger National Park and had lions walking right past the passenger door, elephants blocking the road for half an hour and walking almost up to the hood of the car, and a leopard running out of the marsh and under a bridge. We then went to Cape Town and travelled the coast to Durban before meeting up with G’s family in the Drakensberg the day after Christmas. We spent a few days there and then went to Jo’burg for New Years before coming back to Rwanda. Immediately upon landing we had about 6 hours to rest before jumping on a bus to our Mid-Service Conference in Musanze.

MSC was really nice because we got to catch up with all of the PCVs in our ED2 group, many of which I hadn’t seen since our AIDS conference in August. MSC allowed us to reflect on our first year and our plans for our final year. This lasted about 3 days and then we all went back to site the day before the first term started.

So, Term 1….it flew by. January started off a little slow, but once all of the students arrived at the start of February things really got going. This year I am only teaching 10 hours a week, but I also have a GLOW club and English club, I’m working on some administrative organization and planning at the school, plus I’m the Program Development Co-Chair for the Gender and Development committee of PC-Rwanda, teaching at the Supreme Court once a month, and organizing this year’s Camp GLOW. They say Peace Corps is the hardest job you’ll ever love and honestly, they are right. I feel like I am always working and when I am not working I still have to put on a front in the community and speak a foreign language and be friends with everyone. It’s only too nice when I can go home and curl up in bed and watch a movie.

This year I feel like I have struck a good balance though. Last year I was so stressed out with integrating and visiting people, while this year I feel like I’ve become close with all of the people I am going to be close with and I don’t feel the pressure to visit them all the time. If they call, I go over or I spend a few hours visiting them in their shops, but the community knows me now and they know why I’m here and that’s enough for me. Because you can’t be yourself in the village and share all your perspectives on things, it is sometimes easier just to go home or hang out with the one or two people you know you can be semi-normal with.

This year I also define my community slightly differently; last year I was trying to know everyone at school and in the village, which was too much, while this year my community is my school. I am here all the time and would rather have great relationships with the staff, teachers, and students, than know some random people in the village who I would have to go out of my way to know and make time to visit. I am really happy with the relationships I’ve made with the students this year, they come to ask for help or advice more frequently than last year and I honestly feel like they trust me more than some other teachers, which is nice. It’s good to feel needed :)

So first term has come and gone. The start of April marked the 18th anniversary of the Rwandan Genocide. We had a community meeting and people told their stories and reflected on how far Rwanda has come since 1994 and then listened to President Kagame’s speech on the radio. I can’t really comment on it here, but if you get the chance and are interested, look up his speech from April 7 to hear what he has to say about the West.

The day after the community meeting, I left for Uganda, where I spent two weeks playing tourist. I started by taking the GREs (I had been preparing since December) and after successfully completing that in a stuffy room full of baby ants, I met up with some PCV friends and we went white water rafting on the Nile and bungee jumping before spending a few days sitting on an island enjoying days of swimming and relaxing in hammocks.

I got back to Rwanda last Thursday, taught at the Supreme Court on Saturday and started up with Term 2 yesterday. So, here we go, Term 2. It ends July 14, just in time for our Close of Service Conference where we will begin to plan for post-Peace Corps life. Then it’s time for Camp GLOW and then my mom and sister come to visit. The next few months should fly by and soon enough I will be landing in Boston for my first winter in 2 years.

A few pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Camp GLOW–The Greatest Experience of my Service

As I sit hear knawing on corn just off the fire (literally just off the coals), I thought it was about time to write about the Kigali-Bugesera Camp GLOW (girls leading our world) which took place from November 28-December 2. This was a 5-day camp for 48 girls from seven schools in Kigali and Bugesera District. They spent everyday learning about HIV/AIDS, gender based violence (GBV), and life skills. We hosted the camp at my school, G.S. Rango, which made the week even more special and stressful for myself.

As the title says, this was the greatest experience I have had during my service here in Rwanda and I am finding it hard to express the overall pride and sense of purpose I felt during the planning and implementation of this project.Working with ten other PCVs, it was amazing to see the camp grow from just some ideas on a piece of paper to a full blown camp, full of campy songs, campfires, s’mores, arts and crafts, team-building activities, and more. The greatest challenge was trying to organize an American-style camp in a Rwandan environment where things don’t happen on time and leadership hierarchy must be respected. We tackled the issue of a major bed bug infestation in the dorm (they were in the bedframes, not our brand new mattresses which was good) we were sleeping in and ended up sleeping in our office on top of tables for the week. We overcame exhaustion and stomach bugs and battled through. It was so worth it.

I won’t go through the daily schedule, but basically the girls got up every morning and went to life skills lessons in small groups for a few hours. There were six groups of eight students facilitated by Rwandans and PCVs. Each group was named after a female leader (Oprah, Wangari Mathaai, Mother Teresa, Zora Neale Hurston, Michelle Obama, and Jeannette Kagame) and came up with a group chant. Some days we had guest speakers in the morning, which were probably the girls’ favorite part. They were strong local leaders and women who came to talk about how they achieved their goals and touched upon GBV. In the afternoon the girls got to sign-up for campy activities like sports, crafts, yoga, Zumba, salsa dancing, and more. Every night after dinner we had an activity for everyone: dance, talent show, s’mores and campfire, and t-shirt signing. Every day was packed and by 10 PM (way past our usual Rwandan bedtimes) we were exhausted, but it was so worth it.

The best part of camp was watching the girls grow from Monday to Friday. So many showed up in their school cliques and were very quiet, but by the end of the week they had made new friends and were not shy about asking questions, sharing ideas, or screaming their chants. I had 9 girls from my school attend (7 campers and 2 jr. facilitators) and I have been so happy to see them come back to school this year ready to start a GLOW club and teach others about what they learned. They are ready to go to other schools and teach the girls there and also do sessions in the village to teach older women about what they learned. I could not be more proud of their motivation and drive to touch as many people as possible with the GLOW message. This Friday we will be presenting to the whole school to recruit other girls for the club and to teach the students and teachers about what they learned. Their presentation is great and I am so excited to watch.

As for Camp GLOW 2012 – I’m not sure if I will still be in Rwanda when it comes time for camp. This year the schools have a 6 week vacation in July and August, so we might have camp then. If we keep the same schedule as last year, I will be on my out of Rwanda and may not be around. I think it would be a good way to end my service with such a powerful camp, but we’ll see what we are offered in terms of COS (close of service) dates. I might just have to hang around for a couple extra weeks to see this through :)

Check out my Picasa Web Albums – I have some great pictures from Camp GLOW

One Year Reflections…has it really been that long?

Well, a year has come and gone in Rwanda, which means we have just over a year left in this amazing country. I figured that now would be an excellent time to reflect on what has happened and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year.

When we arrived in Rwanda, everyone was quick to say that the days would be long, but the weeks would be short, which no one believed as we were struggling through the packed schedule of PST (pre-service training), but boy were they right. Some days it feels like I’ve been at school for ten hours when it’s only been 3 or 4, while other days I have actually been there for 10 hours, though it feels like 3, and I’m begging myself to go home to my bed. The latter usually means I’ll be asleep by 7:30 without eating dinner and often with my door unlocked (luckily I usually wake up a few hours later to lock the doors and turn off the lights), while the former means I’ll be taking an afternoon nap or watching some Glee or How I Met Your Mother. But as Monday ends, Tuesday brings a morning mental struggle to get up and go to school, Wednesday is a little easier because I’m excited for evening aerobic with the local shopkeepers, and then suddenly the weekend is over and it’s Monday again.

So what have I accomplished? What do I wish I had accomplished? What went well? What was a major failure? What do I love about my life and what continues to be a challenge? For the most part, things have gone as planned (minus the little incident in February when all my valuables were stolen). All of the inefficiencies, long waits (“African time”), lack of information, and general un-organization have been as expected. Something that is supposed to start at 9 usually starts at 11 and often you don’t know about it until you’re sitting at home and get a call asking where you are.

What has been surprising has been people’s lack of trust towards others; the other person is always assumed to be lying or misleading you, which I hate. I like to think the best of everyone until proven otherwise, while Rwandans seem to assume the worst until proven otherwise. They are so reserved and it really takes some time to break them down and form really meaningful relationships with them. I can count a handful of people who I have accomplished this with and really wish it wasn’t so difficult. Even today, a shopkeeper said, “Sarah, you really like to smile. You are always smiling and laughing.” And I responded, “Yes, I love to smile/laugh. It is good for you.” Sadly there are not many opportunities to have a good laugh in daily life. I try to get my smiling and laughing in at school with my kids. Walking around town you might smile and wave at someone or greet them with a smile, but a good ab-exhausting, tear-rendering laugh is hard to come by.

The first year of PC has been about settling in, building relationships, and really getting comfortable with my primary assignment – teaching. Just as I was settling in in February, I was uprooted and moved to a different community, which really was a challenge. In the village I had gotten to know people, had a routine, and was generally comfortable. But when I moved, I was really busy at school and didn’t have the time to devote to meeting a lot of new people, which was really stressful. It took about 3 months for things to really feel comfortable. I now know a lot of the shopkeepers that work around my house; the children know my name; and though I don’t go into the village as much as I’d like, people know me and will approach me and greet me as I walk by.

For the most part I’ve been happy with my school; they have given me a lot of freedom to do what I’d like and to propose ideas for projects/programs to the administration. I really wish I had more help from teachers and administrators, but they always want money or food as compensation for “volunteering”, which isn’t realistic or feasible. I was really upset one day when another NGO came to ask about our ideas for school feeding and after we shared our ideas they gave every person 2500 RWF (what I spend at the market in a week), which just inflates their expectations of always receiving a handout. Rwanda has received a lot of handouts since the Genocide, which has really stalled the development of social responsibility/mobilization and volunteerism because people expect (a) to have things done for them, or (b) to be given money or food. But there are some people who are willing to help just because they think something is a good idea, but unfortunately there are only a few teachers at my school who fit that description.

Things that have gone well this year: English Club for students and primary teachers; a school feeding program with shared investment from the school and parents; a leadership and responsibility workshop for student leaders and administrators; and of course teaching and seeing an improvement in both English and critical thinking from my students.

My biggest failure, if you will, has been the lack of English club for secondary school teachers. I’m not all that sad about it because, to be honest, I’m kinda tired of teaching English; I teach all day and then have 2 English clubs, so not having one for secondary isn’t all that disheartening. Furthermore, I feel like I have a whole lot more to offer than just my English skills, so I’d rather spend my time doing other projects that not only help the school, but also challenge me a little.

So what do I think about this past year? I genuinely feel like I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now. This last year has allowed me to observe a lot of concepts and ideas I studied at Hopkins and worked on for both of my theses. I have realized I don’t want to be a teacher forever, but I still love education policy, especially why it is structured the way it is, and how it is implemented at the local level. I am surrounded by adults and children who surprise me each and every day and really make the best of what they have.

At the start of university, my friends and family probably couldn’t picture me running off to Africa with the Peace Corps. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind at that point. But, here I am loving the good and bad of living in Rwanda. As I started to travel more, I began to think of myself having two personalities. First, there’s the Sarah who went to a private high school and then to a private university; is materialistic; doesn’t like to get dirty; and despite her best efforts to help people, sometimes finds herself thinking that she’s better than those she is working to help. Then there’s the “Africa Sarah” who loves everything about African cultures and lifestyles; wants to live and work with the locals; doesn’t wear makeup and often wears the same pants multiple days in a row; washes her hair once a week-ish; is more patient; is always ready to get dirty and work with the community to clean or build classrooms; and most importantly, really has no interest in the material things that often seemed to define who she was.

I’m really happy with how I have changed, adapted, and really evolved (I know it’s cheesy) over the last year. Though I’m sure some changes have been the result of the environment, but I hope some of them stick (like being patient…I’d like to wash my hair more than once a week). I’m sure in a year I’ll return home and shop at J.Crew and Vineyard Vines and assume my New Englander identity, but I really hope I come home with an unshakable desire to work with people and genuinely understand who they are and how they live and remember that I have lived in a difficult environment and can relate to them in one way or another. Going to a good school, you begin to think that you know all, and though I feel like a lot of the time I can help find solutions to simple problems, I have realized that I have a long way to go before I have any right to step in and say, “This is what you need to do…” At this point, I am happy with who I have become, what I have accomplished, and the relationships I have formed and that’s enough. I know when I get home I will want to go back to school and know more about everything I saw in Rwanda and how some things can be changed, but for right now, I am OK with just “being” and living this life.

What will the future bring? The one year mark is a time to not only look back, but also look forward. In a month I will be co-directing a 5-day leadership camp for girls, which I am really excited about. Come January, I’ll be back to teaching, clubs, soccer, and who knows what other random projects will pop up. It’s crazy to think that come January, we will only have 11 months left in Rwanda. So of course I have started thinking about my return, and to be honest, I’m terrified. I have already woken up once having a panic attack about technology (got a new cell phone that had internet and apps which scared me). I’m afraid of supermarkets and spending money; having a choice of food (was dreaming about jelly beans and woke up chewing an ear plug :/ ); driving and going on a highway; answering the question “how was it?”; relating with people who were at home while I was in Africa; and most of all, people not showing interest or caring in what I have experienced. I know I have a long way to go before any of these things become a reality, but considering how quick this first year went and how fast everyone says the second year goes in comparison, it’ll be time to COS (close of service) soon enough.

Sorry this post was ridiculously long; it is mostly for me to recap everything that has happened since I have been horrible about keeping a journal.

Questions I’ve been Asking Myself

On a daily basis I find myself questioning what is happening at school and in the community, so I thought I’d share some of these questions with you all.

So here you go…

Is it going to rain today? Please say yes because I really need to shower and filter some drinking water!

Is my hair that interesting? (there is much debate about whether my hair is natural or whether I have a weave)

Neighbors, can you please not blast the music and bass at 5 AM? Please and thank you!

Am I hearing a lizard, a mouse, cockroaches, or a bat in my ceiling? How about behind my trunk?

Why don’t chickens really cross the road in an efficient fashion like all the ’why’d the chicken cross the road’ jokes suggest? (this came after I almost hit a chicken while I was riding my bike to school)

Is there really a goat in my classroom right now?

Did my student just ask me if I knew how to do circumcisions?

Why does a woman have to look so miserable at her wedding? (it’s tradition for the woman to not look happy with what is happening and her future with her husband)

Shouldn’t all the teachers be here with me and the rest of the community helping to build new classrooms for umuganda?

Why aren’t secondary teachers as motivated to learn English as the Primary teachers?

Do some adults really think that if they have sex with a child they will be cured of HIV/AIDS? (this is supposedly something that traditional doctors tell people to do)

To wash my clothes or not to wash my clothes today?

WHERE IS MY PACKAGE??!!

Why is customer service so awful here? (if you go to a shop or restaurant they always seem utterly miserable to help or serve you)

Why can’t drinking one Primus (beer) be enough? Why is it considered rude if you don’t drink two?

What part of the goat am I eating right now? Intestine? Liver?

Remember the days when you could get food in under an hour and it would be hot when it came?

Why would a bus company let a bus run if it can’t switch into the correct gear to get up the big hills? Do I really have to walk up the hill while the driver tries to get an empty bus up the hill?

Is that blood in the shattered windshield on the bus? Shouldn’t that be replaced and not just covered with plastic?

How many boards on the bridge will be broken today?

How did my name go from Sarah to Sandrine?

Why can’t there be a warning that the power is going to go out so I can get my lantern and everything ready?! I’m tired of tripping and falling around whenever the power goes out!

Is that a flat rat? (dead of course)

Can you please say excuse me instead of shoving me out of the way? (manners don’t seem to come naturally here)

Do I really want to go out on market day when the population quadruples and I’m called muzungu every 2 seconds? Not so much…I’ll continue to read.

So that’s a little insight into my daily interactions and questions/thoughts about what’s going on around me. In general, things are going good. The third term has started off a little slow, but I’ve made myself busy starting up a GLOW (girls leading our world) club at school and organizing Camp GLOW with fellow PCVs, which will take place in December and teach 40 girls about life skills. This term is really short and soon it will be the long vacation, which means I need to find another project to work on during the three month vacation so I don’t go crazy.

I’ll be posting another blog soon, but for now, know that I am healthy and happy and really feel like I’m falling into a good rhythm with Rwandan life as the norm (I find myself comparing my life here to my life in the US a whole lot less, which I’d argue is keeping me sane).

Day in the Life

So I realize that I have written about what I do every day, but I haven’t really told you how I go about doing it, which is by far one of the most unique parts of living here. It is not really what I do, but how I go about doing it that makes my experience here in Rwanda what it is. So now I am going to do my best to give you the general feel for life in Ruhuha, Rwanda.

                So my typical day starts around 6 AM with me being woken by the rooster and the cow next door. On Tuesdays and Fridays, the start is a little earlier with the chanting and drumming from a local church waking me. If I try hard enough and don’t have to get to school I can usually go back to sleep until about 7:30 at the latest, but the birds chasing lizards on my tin roof make it difficult. If it’s a school day, I roll out from under my mosquito net and head outside to use the bathroom (or latrine if someone has already beaten me to the nice bathroom) and shower. I’m lucky enough to have water in my compound and a real cold water shower, but it’s the dry season so I often wake up in the morning to no water coming from anywhere, which then leads to a shower-less morning. If I’m not lucky enough to get into the good bathroom, I brush my teeth and wash my face outside with a jug of water and spit the toothpaste on the ground. Then I head inside and if I have time, heat up some water to make oatmeal with brown sugar or bread and peanut butter. I shove all of my school stuff in a bag (notebooks, papers, pens, laptop, book, lots of water, and a snack) into my backpack and drag my bicycle outside, which sounds a whole lot easier than it is. I have to bring it down stairs, then up stairs, out a very narrow gate, back downstairs and up an alley to the dirt road. Out on the road I great the usual shopkeepers who are starting to open up shop for the day. It’s now about 6:50 (7:05 on a really slow morning). I jump on my bike as the masses start to accumulate to watch the muzungu ride a bicycle and then it’s a 10 minute ride to school.

                So I have never been much of a bike rider. I like my spinning classes and the summer bike rides on the Cape Cod Bike Trail, but I am in no way a pro at mountain/off-road biking and Rwanda hasn’t made it easy for me. The road is shared by buses, cars, motos, and bicycles and there is little concern for the little man out there on his bicycle riding up the dirt road. So as I ride up the first hill, trucks go flying past me throwing huge amounts of dust and dirt in my face and all over my clothes – so much for not turning orange today. As I ride I have people yelling my name and greeting me good morning, which I do my best to reciprocate as I huff and puff up the hill. Once at the top I regain my breath, but things only get more difficult. There are sharp rocks coming out of the dirt that I have to avoid, which wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t so many or so close together. The lane for bikes has also been worn down so that there is a tire-wide space to ride and then the road goes up a few inches on either side, so you have to stay in line or you’re going over. Then of course there’s the slow or the aggressive riders that are blocking your way or riding right up on your tail and you want to yell, but well, that’s not acceptable, so I just ring my bell like crazy (yes, I have a bell on my bicycle). I keep saying my mwaramutses and bites and after another gradual climb, I’m at school – sweaty, dusty, thirsty, and usually hungry. I bring my bike down the hill as morning meeting is going on, which then leads to the kids whispering about my fancy bike or about how sweaty I am. Lovely.

                Teaching is nothing too special or unique. It’s just me, the students, chalk, some paper, and a lot of really really slow and enunciated English. After teaching I usually eat lunch at school (kawunga, which is corn flour mixed with hot water, and beans) and continue my day there until clubs or teaching teachers or I head home. The bicycle ride home is no more enjoyable then at 7 am. It is hotter, it is up hill all the way going home until the last 2 minutes, and there are a lot more people out in the afternoon than first thing in the morning, which leads to a lot of talking, waving, and near-accidents as a child runs in front of me or someone screams my name and I look around. When I get home I usually lay down for a bit and then cook if I’m feeling up to it or I ask my house girl to do it.

                So food and water are not immediately rewarding; they require preparation, which takes a whole lot longer here than in the U.S. If I want drinking water, I have to go fetch water from the tap outside; fill the bucket; dump the bucket into the filter inside; add a few drops of bleach; and wait for the water to filter to the bottom tap. If I want hot water, I have to fill an electric tea kettle and wait for the water to boil for a hot bucket bath or tea. Since all the food here is so fresh and manure is a very common fertilizer, all the fruit and vegetables need to be washed, bleached, peeled, cut, and then finally eaten, which is a long process. You fill a basin with water and wash and peel the vegetables then put it in another bucket of bleach water for about 20 minutes before you can eat it raw. If you are going to cook them then you can skip the bleaching. All of the food scraps get added together and then at the end of the night they are thrown in the garbage pit behind my house. I usually cook on a kerosene stove, but sometimes I use the charcoal stove, which takes a while to heat up so I only like to use it if I’ll be cooking a lot of things (kerosene is expensive) or baking (I am perfecting cakes, brownies, and cookies from scratch).

                After cooking it’s time to clean the dishes then myself up before eating. The dishes are washed similarly to the vegetables-a basin of water, soap, a sponge, and a final rinse. Then the dirty water gets tossed outside. A cold evening shower or warm bucket bath is nice. You feel accomplished as you watch the water turn from brown, to orange, to foggy, to clean clear water as all the dust and grime from the day is scrubbed off.

                Other random things that are a big change: washing clothes in a bucket then rinsing them multiple times to get all the soap out before hanging them on the line; ironing sheets before putting them on my bed to kill any bugs that got in there; having to walk to the local bar if I want cold water or soda; using students’ homework when there is no more toilet paper; a growing love for the radio and Voice of America (much better than sitting in silence); killing cockroaches without flinching; dumping a bucket of water on the floor and squeegeeing to clean the floors; and finally learning how to wait...and wait…and wait until things happen or start hours late.

                In the U.S., I eat, wash clothes, do dishes (though my mother will say otherwise), make my bed, go to work, but what truly sets this experience apart from home is how I do everything. Everything is more labor intensive and takes a whole lot longer. I’m lucky enough to be able to pay someone to do a lot of the work and I only do it on occasion (washing and cooking dinner mostly), but even the daily chores of getting drinking water or going to work are so totally different. It is hard to remember what it was like using modern technology and amenities and I’m sure I’ll be confused when I get home and have to use a washing machine or have the luxury of cooking frozen vegetables, but for right now, this is the norm and I’m not hating it – yet.

4th of July

I have now experienced all major American holidays in Rwanda with the 4^th of July beating out all the rest as the most American. Halloween was nice, Thanksgiving was delicious, Christmas Eve/Day was a blur, and New Year’s Eve was memorable, but American Independence Day beat them all as truly the most American of all. Peace Corps let us go to the embassy for their celebration and boy did the U.S. Embassy do it right. Though it was more of a family event – a carnival really – it was really nice to be surrounded by a couple hundred Americans, enjoying American food, drinks, and music. At the embassy, they took our cell phones and cameras before we could go in, but if I had a camera, I would have taken pictures of the absurdly disturbing clown and telatubby (sp?); the Peace Corps Rwanda Director being dunked in the dunk tank by a fellow PCV; ice cold Budweiser; hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, ice cream, and brownies; carnival games; the ambassador walking around and greeting everyone; the flags of all 50 states; and the overly satisfied group of PCVs who made the trip. What was funny was all the PCVs in attendance were from my group, which one of the PC doctors said was because our group is the most daring. Not quite sure what that means. I guess we like to push the limits? At the close of the embassy party, they projected fireworks up on a huge screen. Though I didn’t stay long enough to see them, I don’t think they compared to lying on the beach watching fireworks on the Cape. I certainly missed the Chatham Parade and Cookware sandwiches, but this Embassy celebration and the subsequent night of celebrating were certainly a close second.

A Note on Personal Relationships – Struggles and Successes of Maintaining and Forging Relationships in the U.S. and Rwanda

I would argue that maintaining relationships in the U.S. and forging new ones in Rwanda has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced in Rwanda. I had heard that maintaining a connection with home was difficult and that making true friends in a very reserved society like Rwanda is no easier and I can say that both have proven true. After being in Rwanda for nearly eight months (can you believe it’s been that long cause I can’t!), I have found communicating with friends and family at home has been a struggle. It is so hard to maintain a connection when our lives are so different; all of my friends are doing their thing in cities up and down the East Coast, while I’m off living in an African village. It’s not easy for them to understand what my life is like here and I have a hard time hearing about their seemingly exciting urban lives which I often find myself envying. Even when I look on Facebook and see they are off to a concert or the theater or out on the town for a night, I can’t help but think about how our lives have diverged. A crazy night here in Ruhuha is going out until 7, baking cookies with the girls on a charcoal stove, watching movies, and laughing a lot – far different from the lives twenty-something year olds are living in Boston, D.C., or NYC.

Then you fall to the problem of talking and communicating. I often find myself calling home only to be told to call back another time or being told that they will call me soon now that they have my number or send me a letter or package and then I go months without hearing from them. I have yet to get a piece of mail from a friend – Facebook posts and messages are nice, but there is something special about getting a letter ($1 to send) or a small package ($15). My family has done well and I’m always so happy to hear from them, but I always get jealous when I hear from a fellow PCV how they got an awesome letter, newspaper articles, or a flash drive full of music and movies from their friends. After talking with some other PCV friends, my concerns over and frustrations with maintaining friendships in the U.S. seem to be pretty common and a big stressor for a lot of volunteers during their service; for the first couple of months people are super supportive but then interest just dies down and it’s really easy to drift apart. So, if I could enter a plea to those of you in the U.S. – please try to stay in touch. I miss you all dearly and try to communicate as best I can, but would like it to be more of a two-way street. I don’t want to come back in two years and be strangers.

Now on to making friends – real friends – in Rwanda; it’s not easy. There are three people (one English speaker, one French speaker, and one Kinyarwanda only speaker) who I totally trust and know I can go to with any problems or just to hang out. One of them, I spend hours laughing with every week. Unfortunately, they are all Mamas, so despite the fact that I am very close with them, we have very little in common because our lives are so different. I am desperately in need of young single girlfriends, but that is also a struggle because most of the girls my age are still in Secondary School, at university, or have finished their secondary studies and still live at home and are treated very much like children. Even for me, people call me a girl and it is difficult for me to get people to take me seriously despite the fact that I am capable of taking care of myself and have finished university. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve given up and I’m starting to make some progress. Last week I was visiting a family in the village and a single nurse was there and turns out she lives in Ruhuha, so I am determined to befriend her. As mentioned in my previous post, last night I had a meeting with a group of girls and I shamelessly made it known that I need some single friends and if they ever want to do anything, to let me know. Please don’t think I’m lonely cause by no means is that the case, I just miss the sort of friendships I had in the U.S. with all my girlfriends and would very much like to find one or two close girlfriends here. Mamas are great, but they have kids, a lot of housework, and other obligations that prevent them from filling the void completely. Last week two female volunteers from Bugesera came to visit for the night and reminded me how fun it was to have a girls’ night with friends who are my age. I know I’ll have to tread carefully because I am still the outsider and people have many different reasons – good and bad - for wanting to get close to me, but at this point not having young friends seems to be the only thing lacking here.

One really exciting development has been the changes in the relationship between me and my host family. Mama and Papa Robert are very private people and despite our cordial relationship, we never really talked much unless there was a problem. A couple weeks ago I had a bad cold and Mama Robert brought me food and tea multiple times a day. I’ve started bringing them food that I bake or American food that is sent to me. I had never been invited to visit them or do anything very personal…until this weekend. Last night I was invited to have dinner with Mama, Papa, and Providence (their truck driver who lives here too) at their house. It was really nice; we talked a little and watched t.v. for a bit after. Then, this morning Mama invited me to have tea and bread for breakfast. This may not seem like much, but I’m excited about these baby steps and really hope that we will become a lot closer over the coming weeks and months.

Sorry if this blog seemed like I was complaining a lot; that wasn’t the intent. I really just want people at home to know how difficult it is for me to go without hearing from them and how I really miss the friendships I have in the U.S. – they are so very important to me and I am trying to recreate them here because of how happy they make me. Anyways, I am off to relax for a bit before Mama Luange and her 3 year old daughter, Luange, come to visit this afternoon. I miss you all and really hope to hear from some of you soon!!